Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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