I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
only if we run a train.
done.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
