Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
