Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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