I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
