So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
