drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
