i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize