let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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