can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
