That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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