I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
