I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
