puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
