Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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