Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize