i just sent this text using only my big toe
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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