GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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