Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
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Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
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I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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