last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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