he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize