AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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