I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Randomize
