need another drink. this is the easiest way
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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