I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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