I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
