he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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