i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
