Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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