I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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