Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
