Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
