D3 body, D1 cock
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I AM VODKA MAN
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
