I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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