I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
