where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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