Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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