well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
