i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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