we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize