wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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