Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
