Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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