i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
