We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
