I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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