Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
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