Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
