I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
