At least make sure they are 18
Why
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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