I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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