It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
