The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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