i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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