oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
