if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
