maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
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I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
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However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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