You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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