These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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