Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
