I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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