is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize