Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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